the blunt critic

“The House of the Devil” is slow as molasses, dull, pointless, and just plain dumb.  Started out with an interesting enough style, a throwback to 70’s exploitation.  However, NOTHING happens for the first hour of the film.  I have serious problems with this film when it comes to logic and decisions in the writing process.  1) They set up this whole rigamarole where she calls for the job, gets rejected, then the guy calls her back, establishing the idea that she somehow got rejected for the job but it never gets paid off.  It’s just a colossal waste of time.  2) When she arrives at the house, they go through this song and dance where they say, oh we lied it’s an old woman, not a baby but none of that is necessary.  If you were a crazy cult trying to abduct a girl, would you make up a fake story and let her wander aimlessly around your devil house for an hour, or would you just knock the bitch out the second she got inside and tie her ass up?  Why let her wander around for so damn long, discovering nothing but a hairy shower in the meantime?  3) Even the fake story doesn’t make sense.  The cult guy says, “Oh, my mother is old but she’s very independent and very able bodied.  But don’t disturb her.”  My first question as the protagonist would be, “Then why the hell am I here?  If she’s so independent AND I’m never going to see her tonight, why do you need me?”  It doesn’t make sense.  4) Then we get to the seance and it’s like friggin keystone cops.  They tie her up so poorly that she slips the ropes off, punches the Devil’s mom in the face, pokes the big burly cult man’s eye out, stabs the cult mom in the back and runs out of the house.  Why didn’t all three of them corner her?  Are they the Putties from the Power Rangers and they can only go at her one at a time?  Then she finally shoots herself in the head and I’m like, “Finally, a sane decision!”  This film could have been 30 minutes long, and even then it’s Rosemary’s Baby version 2.0.

At first, “Drive” seems very simple, almost plain.  However, as the movie goes on it becomes apparent that everything in the film is intentional.  It’s not minimalist for the sake of it.  It’s about atmosphere and evoking emotions that are that are buried in the memories of the audience, rather than bombarding the viewer with smash-cuts and sound effects and explosions and sex.  There are depths to the silent moments that actually comment on each other as the films wears on.  It’s a film about complicated emotions, conflicting desires, and self-sacrifice.  It’s a film with no real villain, just people with varying levels of self-importance and humanity.  It’s a student of “Heat” and “Scarface” and the great crime dramas of the 70’s without being a copycat.  It’s patient, smart, and thought-provoking.  While “Drive” failed to deliver any iconic characters, it’s the feeling that these people are archetypes that gives the film impact and will leave an indelible image linger in the mind of the audience. 

“Livide” is a beautifully shot and well-told fairytale.  However, despite some scary moments, the film as a whole fails to carry the tension it deserves.  As strong as the story is, it clearly lacked the dread that was palpable in Bustillo and Maury’s last film, “Inside”.  Even without that sense of terror, there are terrifying moments that successfully get the blood pumping.  Yet, the true strength of “Livide” is the story, which is well worth the watch, even without the intense scares and gratuitous violence offered up by other New French Extremist horror films.

Classic.  Not only does Barker deliver a fantastic tale of horror, “Hellraiser” has some terrifying special effects and legendary characters.  The dialogue is some of the most creative, evocative use of language in horror history.  “We’ll tear your soul apart!”  There are so many things to like about “Hellraiser” but to me it’s a creation that is incredibly evil, yet not at all malicious.  The Cenobites are terrifying because they’re just doing their job.  You open the box, you go to Hell.  That’s all there is to it.  Somehow the existence of such an evil force, such an evil law is terribly unsettling. 

Strong, intelligent filmmaking.  An original premise with a throwback feel.  Striking visuals and nerve-wracking scenarios.  ”La Meute” also has one of the best horror soundtracks I’ve heard in a while.  It’s filled with interesting characters that are more than just good or bad.  This film is not trying to be shocking or scary, it just is.  It’s not overly ambitious or pretentious.  Old-school, cult-style horror fans will love it.  I’d hate to say any more and give it away, so check this one out.  It’s one of the few New French Extremist films that actually has a sense of humor.

For me, there was nothing enjoyable about watching this film.  It starts with a common horror-trope, the broken down car, which is not a crime.  However, it doesn’t do anything interesting or new with the concept.  It does create a story that is sincerely weird but not terribly compelling.  Part of the problem with “Calvaire” is that the protagonist is more of a means to an end rather than an interesting character.  It all lines up very easily for the antagonist(s) so it’s hard to find it terribly horrifying.  Somehow, the supposed back story is more interesting than the story portrayed.  The film just never won me over in any way and for a supposed member of the New French Extremist movement (despite being Belgian), it’s pretty tame.

I really like the general concept of this film.  However, the 70’s/British pacing of this film is far too slow for me.  It has some camp value and some decent tension.  I could see a very successful remake of this film but I could also see it turned into stereotypical Hollywood Horror garbage.  If you’re into old-school Brit-Horror, check it out. 

This is a solid film.  It has a strong story, great visuals, and really excellent performances from child actors.  While the story may seem derivative or familiar, it’s well done and focuses on the more interesting emotional side of things.  The creature design is very strong and never feels too CGI or unbelievable.  Most of all, the film tells a powerful story of coming of age and families repairing their damaged connection.  It won’t be at the top of any list for me but it’ll be close.  Once again, it’s solid.

The thing about the “Saw” franchise is that it’s associated with extreme gore and torture, which is a bit ironic, since there are really only 2 isolated instances of gore in the original film, and both are relatively tame.  In “Saw”, it’s all about the build, tension, and personal horror.  What “Saw” does intelligently is focus on creating several characters with back stories as opposed to the cliche group of teen stereotypes with no background or character arc.  It’s a human story with a crazed killer/games-master that has a rationale and justification for his outlandish scheme.  Much like the “game” within the film, the film itself is a mystery until the end when it truly becomes horrific.  While “Saw” will likely be lumped in with the torture-porn genre, it has psychological horror chops. 

It’s going to be impossible for me to review this film without giving away spoilers, so be forewarned.  SPOILERS: From the first scene of this movie it’s painfully obvious where it is headed.  It screams “mental-illness masquerading as monster.”  I have a few problems with this type of film.  It’s highly overused.  I can list a handful of these films just off the top of my head (The Ward, High Tension, Hide and Seek, Secret Window, Psycho, Session 9, Identity, The Uninvited).  Granted this is a different mental-disorder but it’s the same old misleading stuff up until the twist that ultimately falls flat because you’ve figured out the secret long ago.  Furthermore, these stories are left trying to occupy the audience for the middle hour of the film while never advancing the story.  There is no more we can learn about the monster or ghost or killer because the film is simply a ruse on the audience.  While the filmmaking techniques in “Intruders” are solid, it’s little consolation for a film that feels like it’s old news.  If this type of film is your cup of tea and I haven’t ruined it for you, give it a try.  Otherwise, you can file it under “seen it.”

“The Descent”.  Absolutely terrifying.  You’re afraid of the dark?  Heights?  Enclosed spaces?  Yeah, how about ALL of them.  Okay now add in super creepy monsters.  I am never, ever going cave exploring.  Ever.

Del Toro continues to surprise me with the depth his films have, which is strange because I’ve never been underwhelmed by him.  It’s probably because there are so many films out there that fail to hit the mark emotionally that Del Toro’s films always manage to be a cut above.  “The Devil’s Backbone” has a surprisingly complex story that deals with serious emotions.  The image this film has as a horror story is sort of misleading.  It’s occasionally scary and deals with some supernatural elements but it’s not shocking or disturbing.  It’s a very beautiful human story with a spiritual element. 

“The Poughkeepsie Tapes” reminded me a lot of an episode of “48 Hours” or “Missing Persons.”  If you haven’t seen it, it’s a mockumentary about a fictitious serial killer.  I love watching “48 Hours” or TV specials about murders and serial killers.  I did not love “The Poughkeepsie Tapes.”  It’s a poor choice of a delivery method because we know it’s fake.  You might ask why I enjoy a film like “Paranormal Activity” that is also fake.  The difference between a mockumentary and a found-footage film is that mockumentaries are much harder to pull off.  Every time there was an interview in this film, all I could think was ‘acting, acting, acting…’  The shock factor that you experience when watching a real documentary about a serial killer is nullified because we know it’s fictitious.  There’s nothing special about it.  It’s not pleasurable to watch or to even think about because it’s so boring.  At least in a film with a boring premise there can be interesting filmmaking to entertain you.  This film had neither.  The effects added to the killer’s tapes came off as fake, distracting, and visually unpleasant.  It’s backwards storytelling, designed to fit into a structure that doesn’t suit it.  If you want to see a good horror mockumentary, see “Lake Mungo.”  Skip this one.

Funny, sexy, gory, and campy.  Exactly what a B-horror movie should be! 

Not a bad little thriller.  Interesting concept and great execution through visuals.  I’d classify this film under the category of “wish fulfillment.”  SPOILER: The main character is endowed with incredible mental powers but it remains unclear if he is ever forced to truly pay for his abuse of the drug.  The unclear nature of the ending is what makes it truly work.  The film somehow manages to end on a positive note, while still maintaining the possibility that things will not always be rosy for our hero.  All told, “Limitless” is a tight movie with a unique and sometimes humorous voice.  Check this one out.